I consider myself to be an observant person and quite recently I started noticing how some people put in so much effort trying to please others that they often forget who they are in the process.
I’ve had a few friendships in the past where I used to do everything to keep that person in my life, to the point where I’d stop caring about my own feelings and some people took that as an opportunity to mold me into the person they wanted me to be. Granted, I was a kid back then...still am but I never thought it would actually have an effect on me until now.
It’s necessary to put in your effort to make friendships work but honestly, if you don’t see those efforts being reciprocated and appreciated, then it’s not long before everything falls apart.
I have a friend who recently had a fall out with someone she considered her best friend. And initially, everything felt okay but as the years passed she began to realize how it was always her constant efforts that kept the friendship intact.
But she denied the small red flags assuming it was just overthinking getting the best of her. A few years later that person herself confronted my friend stating how she never wanted to be best friends and honestly, she didn't really give a specific reason which hurt my friend.
Bottom line is that sometimes, we’re so determined to make things work, we do whatever it takes to keep it going not realizing that sometimes we’re better off without it. You’re not always supposed to be the one doing all the work, putting all the efforts, making all the plans, always asking how they’re doing because this creates unrealistic expectations that will only hurt you later on.
We should really stop living up to other people’s expectations and just do things not for others but for ourselves.
1000000% 💯🙌🏻
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